Do you eat in restaurants by yourself?

Last night at dinner I met Helen. She had run her own company making jams which are on the supermarket shelves, travelled extensively and now, at 73, has started a degree in theology. Quite a diverse and accomplished life, I thought. Then she said she would never eat in a restaurant alone. If she was travelling alone she always ate in the hotel.

This really amazed me I have not run a company or thought of starting a degree now, but I often eat in restaurants alone. Is it so hard?

I generally travel alone and, as for me food is part of the attraction of a foreign city, I am always keen to try local restaurants. So it is go alone or miss out.

I have had a few not-so-good experiences such as in Ljubiana, Slovenia, when I went to the restaurant recommended by the hotel. It was very popular with couples, the service was very slow and I felt a bit like a shag on a rock as I waited 40 minutes between the first and second course – but the food was lovely. But the next night I went to a restaurant in the pedestrian mall and the waiter had to set up a new table for me and one also for another solo woman. While this happened we started talking and continued to do so for the entire meal and went off together at the end in search of ice cream. She was from Padua, and in Ljubiana for a statistics conference.

Then there was the night in Avignon when I went to a restaurant to be told that the only table left was outside. This I declined as the Mistral had already made me look like the Judy Dench character in Chocolat, and it was cold. I was then put at a table near the door where the spare serviettes were stored. Some of these were cleared away. The food was lovely, but for the whole of my meal there were three other vacant tables, so I felt that solo diners were not really welcome here.

The next night I stumbled upon a highly reviewed restaurant. I was seated very near another couple. The woman said, “When you came in we thought you were French.” At this point I was ready to buy their wine, if not their meal. Then they told me they were small food producers from the USA on a tour of olive groves, and that they watched Australian football on cable. They went on to talk a great deal about their tour, farm and politics. I had a great evening and a beautiful meal.

I have also had many enjoyable evenings eating alone when I have not been in conversation with others. In a traditional restaurant in Sarajevo, a group of three young local people sat at the next table. I was intrigue by the dish one woman ordered so inquired what it was. She offered to let me taste it. I declined. Later there was a mix-up with my bill. I queried the waiter, and the aforementioned young woman asked if she could help and was ready to speak to the waiter in Bosnian on my behalf.

In a great slow food restaurant in Sorrento, a young English couple invited me to join them for coffee.

How and where one eats is always a bit of a dilemma when travelling. I was on a tour of Turkey and the first night two couples also on the tour, invited me to join them for dinner. I appreciated their thoughtfulness, but during the meal I realised that their choice of restaurant and type of food was very different from mine. So while I ate with them occasionally, I also chose to eat alone as I wanted try many local foods and they did not.

So I would say that while I have had a few not-so-good eating experiences, so do most people travelling, and most of my experiences have been positive.

I realised that while I eat alone while travelling, I generally do not in my home city, so I thought “why not”. Of course I go out with friends and family, but sometimes I also eat out alone. Once I was taken straight into a new popular restaurant in Sydney the week it opened, while there was a queue at the door, because I was one and there was a place at the bar overlooking the first courses being assembled. It was a very entertaining and informative meal.

I have created some rules for myself for eating alone: stay in the centre of a city, check out the restaurants from the internet or hotel reception, at night go to well-lit areas, dine early, often ask reception to book. I do not take a book or an iPad, but many solo diners like to do this. Some tell the maitre de that they are willing to share their table. I choose food that is not better shared. If vegetables or salad are extra, I ask for a half serve. I buy wine by the glass.

I am passed the age when I am likely to be picked up. I do not think that most people are interested in me or feel sorry for me. If they do, I think they should get a life.

So do you go to restaurants alone? If so do you have any strategies for solo dining?