We went to see a sex therapist – what actually happens and why more older couples are trying it

When my friends Jill and Michael – both in their early sixties – told me they’d booked a session with a sex therapist, my first, blush-filled question was: “Do you have to take your clothes off?”

Their laughter was immediate and reassuring. “No,” Jill said. “We just talk, honestly. And it’s already brought us closer.”

In 2026, sex therapy in Australia isn’t a taboo side note – it’s a recognised form of professional support for couples wanting to reconnect, address changes with age, or simply communicate better about sex. According to Melbourne sexologist Kassandra Mourikis, many Australians still don’t realise sex therapy exists until they see it portrayed on TV or hear about it from a friend – but it’s become something more couples over 60 are exploring to tackle issues ranging from loss of desire to pain, body confidence and communication.

A sex therapist is a trained professional – usually a psychologist, counsellor or sexologist who has additional specialised education – who works confidentially with individuals and couples to explore sexual concerns in a safe, judgement-free space. Sydney therapist Susie Tuckwell says that her role is to ask about clients’ specific concerns, their health and sexual background, and to make the first consultation as easy as possible. “Sexual activity and intimate relations are deeply sensitive topics for most people,” she says, “yet finally putting needs and feelings into words with an empathic listener can start an incredible process of clarification and growth.”

Sex therapy differs from broader counselling in that it’s goal-oriented and focused on intimacy, functioning and connection, often with personalised exercises or strategies to try at home. ASSERT NSW, a national professional body for accredited therapists, explains that sessions typically begin with a detailed history to help the therapist understand each person’s concerns and develop a treatment plan tailored to them.

So, no – you won’t be asked to undress or engage in sexual activity in the therapist’s office. That’s a common myth.

What you will do is talk – sometimes about desire, sometimes about body changes or performance worries, and sometimes about emotional barriers that have grown over years. Brisbane and Gold Coast-based sexologist Dr Armin Ariana notes that while it can be difficult, the information shared in therapy is confidential and non-judgemental.

Older adults are particularly well-suited to benefit from this work. Changes in libido, physical comfort, health conditions and long-term relationship rhythms are common as we age – but too often couples simply accept these changes, rather than addressing them intentionally. Going to a sex therapist isn’t about fixing something broken; it’s about strengthening communication, understanding one another’s evolving needs and finding new ways of connecting.

For many couples like Jill and Michael, the experience is less about “figuring out sex” and more about learning how to talk about it – together, with clarity, warmth and trust.