Considering the worldwide coronavirus pandemic, if you’ve been following the orders of chief health officers, who in British Columbia (where I live) is Dr Bonnie Henry, you’ve been practising physical distancing and you’ve probably been in voluntary isolation for a week or two. Travelling is not recommended unless absolutely essential — life or death stuff.
While I had all sorts of plans to deep clean my apartment and take a daily walk, the reality of the situation just doesn’t match the intention. I’ve had good days and not so good days, like most of you probably have. My mental health is good. I’m generally a positive type person, but there are days when I begin to wonder. An occasion presented itself recently…
Big stretch and a yawn! Ouch, that hurt! Throw back the covers. Check the time. Nearly 8:30am. I notice the dust gathering on the alarm clock. Another morning!
I swing my legs over the side of the bed. Look down. Phew! My feet are still above ground so that’s a good start, right? It’s going to be a good day, got lots to do. I throw on a pair of jeans.
Turn on the computer and turn on the television, which is almost permanently set to the local continuous news channel. Enter password on computer. Click on the web to open it. The computer seems to take forever to bring up Google or Yahoo! Bandwidth is compromised because everybody and their dog are using the internet now, day in and day out! It’s getting worse. It takes forever to open anything.
While waiting I go to the bathroom. Wash my hands. Dry them on the hand towel. Brush my teeth. Head back to living room to check computer status.
Finally! I bring up my online credit card and banking sites to check my account (which keeps getting smaller) and to see whether or not my balance owing has increased (of course!) or any fraud has taken place overnight (none).
That’s followed by a scroll through Facebook. My God, I can’t believe the crap I’m looking at.
Before I know it a whole bloody hour has been wasted. Sucked me in again! I’m getting a blister on my scrolling finger. Have no idea why I checked it out to start with.
I’ve actually managed to block out any noise from the TV. My head hurts a little because I was concentrating too much on Facebook.
Nature calls, time for a pit stop! Wash hands. Dry on bath towel.
Check Instagram on the cell, nothing new there either. Check out LinkedIn just in case there’s an intelligent discussion or interesting article. Nothing. Back to Facebook. Same.
I check my email, which has a total of 1,731 messages with 753 unopened, 45 of which are starred and might prove either important or at least interesting (just haven’t opened them yet). I delete the crap messages that are basically advertising disguised as something worth looking at, attempt to read two emails but can’t concentrate on the words.
I check Facebook again. Sift through all the supposedly energising and inspirational memes, chain messages, politically motivated BS and responses while getting annoyed with all the ads that keep popping up in the middle of an article that I can’t seem to concentrate on anyway.
Stretching my arms above head, everything hurts a little, in some cases, a lot, the kinks in my neck and shoulders seem to be building up. I really should try going for a walk today. Get up, get a drink of water, look in the fridge, move some stuff around, close the door. Not hungry, yet.
Look at the coffee machine. Do I want a coffee? Hell, sure, why not! My eyes won’t focus yet and there’s a bit of a headache there; certainly not from too much sleep. It’s hard to get a good night’s sleep nowadays. Besides, I stayed up way too late last night, a lot later than I thought I would while watching a movie on TV I would never consider going to see in the cinema. I pour fresh water into the canister and turn the machine on.
Something on the TV distracts me. The talking heads are not even making sense to me. Same stuff, different day. Things don’t even seem to register with me anymore. I’m not even sure what day it is, not that it matters since I’ve got nowhere to go.
I check Facebook again. Nothing new. Look out the front window. It’s windy and raining. Open the patio door for some fresh air. Listen to the sirens of the ambulance, police or fire trucks on deserted streets. Watch Skytrain as it passes by my apartment, very few riders, some wearing masks, separated, bored, detached, each checking their own device, none paying attention to what else is happening around them because nothing is. Cold shiver runs down my back. Close balcony door. Too cold.
Go to the head. Wash hands. Dry off on bath towel.
I check Facebook. Still nothing new. Yawn while stretching arms over my head and reach for my coffee. Crap! Where the hell’s my coffee cup? What the … I look at coffee machine. Nuts! I haven’t even made the coffee yet! I get up from my desk, put the pod in machine, push the brew button and watch the coffee being made.
Hear a ding on my computer. Somebody sent me a PM on Messenger! Open it. Damn. It’s some video of a cat. Not interested. Close conversation.
Reach for coffee! Damn it! Get up from desk, grab coffee cup from the coffee machine and spill it over my hand and part of the counter. For crying out loud! Really? I put my hand under cold water. At least the coffee was hot. After about five minutes, my hand is nearly frozen. Grab a dishrag and wipe off my hand and wipe up counter.
Finally! I take my cup to my desk, sit back in my chair, put my feet up and take a sip. Luke friggin’ warm! Sigh!
About to reach for computer mouse and spot the time on my screen saver! What the hell?! It’s nearly 1pm! Where did the bloody morning go?
I had plans! I was going to shave and shower, get dressed and go for a walk, get some exercise in, do some push ups and some resistance workouts in my living room, even use my roller and now … guess I’d better see about having something to eat. I need a nap!
My mind is spinning, yet I can’t keep a thought long enough for it to anchor itself. And even if I did, I’m not sure what the hell I’d do with it! I find myself sitting in my Lazy Boy in front of the TV with a quarter cup of cold coffee in my hand. Did I have something to eat? I have no comprehension of what’s being said on TV.
Another look at the clock and … What?! It’s 5:12pm and I’m wondering where the hell my afternoon has gone.
All right! Enough of this nonsense. I’ve got to get energised! I’ve got to get moving. An idea hits me. Get on Yahoo. Find a one hour video of Kenny Loggins’ Top Gun theme, ‘Danger Zone’.
Before I know it, I’m dancing around and air guitaring like a crazed maniac (oh, I know I’m going to feel this later!) making moves on my living room dance floor I haven’t done since I was in my teens. After an hour, I’m absolutely beat but happy! I’m as energised as that stupid pink bunny! I can’t sit still now!
Grab something quick from a can to eat for supper. Check time — 7:30pm! I’ll just watch one of the recorded programs I need to catch up on. Then I’ll do the dishes.
Second wind hits at around 9pm. Up till 1am watching three other recordings. I’m bagged. Where the hell did the day go? Dishes can wait until tomorrow.
In just one day I learned some critical lessons. Stay home, stay connected with loved ones and reconnect with those you haven’t talked to in awhile. Stay off Facebook and your anxiety levels will drop substantially! Oh, and you might even get a chance to cross out some of those things on the ‘To Do’ list. Smile!