From a “woolly mouse” to holidays

In a previous column,  I wrote about grant money being spent on research into subjects like breastfeeding in ancient Rome. Not long afterwards, a Sunday newspaper article revealed federal grant money to the tune of $1m was awarded for “decolonising breastfeeding”, $898k for creating an anti-racist dentistry curriculum and $18k for a drag show for scientists, along with other grants.

The grant description for the anti-racist dentistry curriculum states the program focuses on “the mouth as an expression of racial injustice”. Now, call me old-fashioned, but I was under the illusion that dentistry was all about teeth, along with the odd denture and an implant or two if you had the money and a high pain tolerance. If you were going to throw anti-racist money at medicos, surely Ear, Nose and Throat (ENT) specialists and ophthalmologists should be in the mix. Remember the three monkeys – hear, see and speak no evil.

The drag show for scientists grant really had my mind spinning. The project was labelled “The Drag Experiment: Drag shows interwoven with scientific concepts and research.” I sometimes wonder about my over-active imagination so decided not to venture any further down that rabbit hole.

Recently, in an attempt to “de-extinct” the woolly mammoth, a bioscience lab in the US successfully created a “woolly mouse” – a laboratory mouse genetically modified to have a woolly coat. The little critters are cute, but what use are they? And what is the point in bringing back the woolly mammoth?

It’s great that such experiments help scientists learn more about gene functioning and other aspects of biology and science, but do we really need extinct species, especially ones of mammoth size, recreated in a world where so many species are already endangered to the point of extinction? Surely we should be trying to save those we have left rather than bring back those for whom today’s world may no longer be suitable.

A couple of days ago I found myself conducting my own research. Halfway through putting a strand of my hair into a glass of water, I paused. And asked myself, “What in heaven’s name am I doing?”

Well, I was trying to find out the porosity of my hair. That is, the strand’s ability to absorb and hold water. I’d been reading a magazine article that said knowing your hair’s porosity would enable you to choose the correct products for your type of hair. I already have hair products that I’m happy with, so I wondered why I was wasting time that could be better spent on organising my next holiday with Travel at 60.

In April I went on their week-long tour to Adelaide, Kangaroo Island, and Hahndorf, with the last four days cruising on the Murray River paddlesteamer. I was particularly impressed with Kangaroo Island as I hadn’t realised how big it was and the great variety of interesting places to visit. You learn so much on these guided tours, like why the Kangaroo Island kangaroos are half the size of their mainland relatives.

I loved the wildlife sanctuary where we could pat kangaroos and koalas, and the raptor session where a barn owl named Shush was happy to sit on our laps. Sitting still was necessary as the birds would fly from the trees to perch on the ranger’s gloved arm, and some took a shortcut over the heads of the audience. The wedge-tail eagle was the only bird not allowed to fly free as he only had one eye and would be an easy target for other raptors.

My last Travel at 60 community holiday was to Yeppoon, and included a day trip to Great Keppel Island. There’s something about the water around that island that I haven’t found anywhere else. I guess it’s a cliché to say it felt as smooth as silk, but it certainly did. If you decide to go on that holiday, here’s a tip: when the guide asks if you want to buy pineapples at the local farm, say Yes! They’re the sweetest I’ve ever tasted.

Perhaps grant money could be allocated to researching why some pineapples are sweeter than others. Or what tourist destinations give the most happiness to over-60s. I’d gladly volunteer for that kind of research.