‘What getting older has taught me about ageing’

By today’s standards, some might consider me something of an ‘old fart’. It can’t be under-estimated how each generation can be foreign to the next one. Having lived in a retirement village for more than 25 years, I’ve gleaned remarkable insight.

In no particular order, here are the observations I’ve made about getting older from some of the oldest and happiest people I know.

1. You are now over 80 — you can`t wallow with pigs at night and soar with the eagles in the morning.

2. The essence of the con game is that the sucker has to be larceny-minded from the start.

3. When cleavage was not Silicon Valley.

4. We prefer slumber to splendour.

5. Affection transcends appearances.

6. Men who have been married for a long time tend to grow more hairs in their ears… It is a ‘defence mechanism’!

7. All things bright and beautiful, thank god I’ve got them all.

8. Age promotes my aversion to frolicking unfrocked alfresco.

9. His tattoos outnumbered his IQ by 2:1.

10. Volunteers are not paid, not because they are worthless but because they are priceless.

11. Beware of the “tut-tut” brigade and the ‘pursed-lipped pontificators’.

12. I’m at that delusional age where I think everyone my age looks way older than I do.

13. Health. Genetics load the gun, but behaviour pulls the trigger.

14. A journey is best measured by friends rather than miles.

15. Longevity fosters respect.

16. It was character — not pedigree — that determined one`s destiny.

17. We no longer have ‘nanna naps’ we have a SCAN — Senior Citizens Afternoon Nap.

18. We no longer have ‘Senior Moments’ we have an ‘intellectual interlude’.

I wanted to share these ‘mumblings of a marginal moron’ as some sort of celebration at being an oldie. I don’t look at ageing as simply surviving, but as an opportunity to continue to thrive.

By surrounding myself with like-minded friends and family, continuing to indulge in travel, and sharing in the things I enjoy most, I feel I have less stress and worry, and more joy. I’ve learned a lot from getting older, but perhaps most importantly it’s that I should continue to live a full life with a healthy sense of humour.

What insights have you gleaned from getting older? Would you consider yourself something of an ‘old fart’?

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