Living with your adult children is no easy feat, but it’s something some parents like to do for a few months or years in order for their offspring to get ahead. But what happens when your 30-something stepson, who has no job and no career prospects, shows no plans of ever moving out.
Well, that’s the tricky situation one man has found himself him, and he’s now taken to online forum Mumsnet to ask for advice from fellow parents.
“I’ve been with my partner for 23 years now, married for 12 years,” he began. “However, my wife’s son has tested my patients [sic] for far [too] long. I’m tired and fed up with the situation.”
The man went on to say that his stepson just turned 31 years old and still lives with them, explaining that he has never done a hard day’s work in his life. He further revealed in the comments section of the post that his stepson has only ever had one job, when he was 24 years old, however, it only lasted for three short weeks.
“The moment he left school, I knew he had no intentions of doing anything, and I really do mean anything,” he explained. “I’m the only one who works, supporting the household.
“He literally goes nowhere and stays at home in his room watching TV and playing console games. The only time he comes out of the room is when he gets a drink, gets food or goes for a smoke.”
He said his stepson will go shopping with his mum, but that’s as far as he’ll push himself, adding: “He is the epitome of a man-child and my wife enables it.
“Now, I do love my wife, but I am so frustrated with the situation at the moment. It is causing me anxiety and I’m beginning to resent the way she handles the situation with me. I have spoke to her so many times over the years about him, how he never seems to put the effort in to move on and be independent, but she always seems to defend him, like she doesn’t want to nag him.”
To make matters worse, his stepson won’t even clean up after himself.
“Basically, I refuse to clean up after him or enable his lifestyle. [My] wife always makes me feel like I’m picking on him or being petty.
Fellow parents were quick to offer their advice, with some suggesting to stop supporting him altogether. One Mumsnet user wrote: “If you’re the only one who works then just stop supporting him.”
Another said they simply wouldn’t put up with it, writing: “Think I’d end the marriage if there was no sign of the situation changing.”
While another suggested having a man-to-man chat with him, saying he’s not a little boy anymore. “How would a man-to-man chat go down?” they asked. “It not like he’s a little boy mixed up about who his daddy is and you don’t want to step on any toes. He’s a grown man who’s living off the money you earn. I’d be making life very uncomfortable him. I can’t believe you’ve tolerated this for so long.”
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