Susie O’Neill breaks down in tears watching Sydney Olympics loss for first time

Australian swimming legend Susie O’Neill has broken down in tears watching her Sydney Olympics race from 2000 for the first time. O’Neill was on her morning radio show Nova’s Ash, Kip, Luttsy & Susie on Monday when she watched the clip, which saw the former swimmer lose to American Misty Hyman in the 200m butterfly final.

Watching a replay of the race, the radio host, also known as ‘Madame Butterfly’, spoke about how she felt like a failure at the time – and those feelings are still raw almost two decades later.

“My default is… my default is I just want to crack a joke,” O’Neill said through tears. “I know it’s only a swimming race and I know in my head I didn’t fail, but with that I just see failure. I felt like this was my race, home crowd and to come second for me is failure.”

O’Neill, who achieved eight Olympic medals during her career, also spoke about how she thought she was going to win the race. The world-famous swimmer had gone into the final as a firm favourite, having qualified fastest for the final alongside fellow Aussie Petria Thomas.

“Of course I thought I was going to win, I’m still trying to find reasons even 19 years later,” she said. “If I could swap my 200m free for this I would, this was more important. I’m Madame Butterfly at this stage, that’s my nickname … this is my race.”

Despite breaking down in tears, the former swimmer said she was relieved to have finally watched the race after all this time. “I think it’s a relief, I don’t know it’s weird. I felt so much emotion before but I feel like maybe because I’m still the same person,” she said.

“Just because I lost that doesn’t mean I’m that for the rest of my life. I’ve moved on to other things,” O’Neill continued. “I’m not a failure … bit of a sook though.”

The famous swimmer has since received a stream of supportive messages from fans on social media, with one writing: “Susie you have done our country proud with your fantastic swimming career. My whole family knows you as Madame Butterfly and we only ever remember you as a star in our eyes, don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise and please don’t be so hard on yourself.”

Another added: “Madame Butterfly you did yourself proud and you did your country proud. As 9 year old I sat with my parents and yelled and cheered for you. You were an amazing role model for 9 year old me! Keep your head high!”

While a third wrote: “What and inspiration you are, I remember watching this race with my family on my 7th birthday. I admired you so much my parents bought me the Madam Butterfly swimming Barbie doll for my birthday which I opened right before this race. [Nineteen years] later I didn’t remember what you came except that you were a winner and someone to look up to.”

Meanwhile, later speaking in a breakfast TV exclusive interview with Sunrise on Tuesday, O’Neill said she was “more surprised than anyone” and a “bit embarrassed” about her reaction.

“As part of our radio show I mentioned that I never watched the race because I came second, so the boys suggested I do it on air,” she said, according to 7News.

“To be honest I thought I would feel nothing. I went into the room and before they even started playing the race I had a physical reaction. Then all this stuff just started pouring out.”