Let’s be honest: as we build our lives, save for retirement and make plans, there’s often an unspoken pressure to leave a “nest egg” for our children. But here’s a financial reality check: you don’t owe them an inheritance – and frankly, you should feel entirely comfortable using what you’ve earned.
The reality of inheritance in Australia
In Australia, the average inheritance is around A$125,000, according to Finder. That might sound like a lot until you consider that most of that wealth is locked up in homes or superannuation.
JBWere’s Bequest Report estimates annual inheritance flows of $150 billion, with projections of $5.4 trillion changing hands in the next two decades. But that money is being passed gradually, and unusually, the beneficiaries are often in their 50s or older – not young kids.
At the same time, many older Australians want to enjoy their retirement, not cling to an impossible promise of leaving everything behind. A 9News poll found that three-quarters of people would rather their parents spend their savings on themselves than on inheritance.
What about inheritances elsewhere?
Compare this with the UK, where average estates reported to tax authorities are about £334,000, according to NimbleFins. But not all of that ends up in children’s hands – inheritance tax can take a heavy bite.
In the United States, the average inheritance is even more modest: around US$46,200, according to the Federal Reserve. It’s a windfall for some, but not the life-changing fortune many imagine.
Reverse mortgages: Why the house isn’t a guaranteed gift
Here’s a big one: many retirees no longer view the family home simply as a legacy for their kids. Reverse mortgages and equity-release products are allowing people to tap into their property wealth and spend it for themselves – whether on travel, health-care or simply living more comfortably. If you’re drawing down equity in your home, don’t kid yourself: the house value isn’t a cheque waiting in the will.
That means children might be preparing for a reality where they don’t inherit the full value of the property. And that’s not negligence on your part – it’s recognising that your home is your retirement safety net, not a mandatory freebie for your heirs.
So, why it’s perfectly fine to spend it all
Here’s where the truth bomb lands: You worked hard. You saved responsibly. It’s your money, your risk, your retirement. There’s no moral obligation to die with money in the bank just to satisfy someone else’s expectations.
If leaving a modest cash inheritance is part of your legacy, brilliant. If not – that’s fine too. What matters more is that you live well, remain financially secure, and pass on something more valuable than money: the example of a full, thoughtful life.
Tackling guilt and expectations
This doesn’t mean you can’t have conversations with your children. In fact, open communication helps: tell them what you intend to do with your money, explain why prioritising your wellbeing means not saving every cent for later. The data backs you up: fewer than two in ten Australians expect a windfall above $100,000, according to Finder.
You might also consider structured giving – gifts during your lifetime, support for your children’s major expenses, or charitable bequests. According to JBWere, only a small fraction of inheritances in Australia go to charity, yet many older Australians are increasingly thinking of leaving a “legacy of meaning” rather than just cash.
Final Word: It’s your money – spend it wisely
Inheritances are often framed as a right – something children deserve. But financial wisdom (and life experience) tells a different story: you don’t owe your kids a fortune. You owe yourself a secure, joyful retirement.
So, go ahead. Use your money. Travel. Support causes you care about. Cherish your family today – not just with a promise. When the time comes, if there’s something left, great. If not, that’s okay too. Because in the end, you gave them everything that matters: your love, your wisdom, and a life well lived.
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