In this busy busy world we are now living in, the most important memories a family can have are often created through ritual, regularity and rhythm. Whilst you might think surprising your family with unexpected visits representative of your carefree over-60 lifestyle make life interesting, the things we spend time anticipating build a little bit of je ne sais pas in life.
Think back to your own childhood and to the times when you were raising your children and think about the times you remember fondly. Are they the things you did regularly, even just for a few years in a row? Or the special parties you went to, to celebrate special family occasions. Or, perhaps it is the Saturday night dinners you had as a family group.
Rituals and traditions are something we look forward to, knowing them as special, momentous, and important in our lives. Many families have rituals without even setting out to, and the ritual, without knowing it becomes the memory. But today lets look at ways you can make more rituals for your family, as the matriarch or patriarch.
My family has some terrific traditions that various people have instigated. Each of them has developed a life of its own. I want to hear yours too.
Special trips with the grandkids
Every school holidays, the grandchildren, (my kids) arrange with their grandparents (my mum and dad) to be taken away to the beach for four days, all together. Six little cousins keenly line up to enjoy take away dinners, treats, and trips to the beach morning noon and night, developing amazing memories of each other at this age. Whilst it is important for the kids, it is also just as special for my parents who love and look forward to every school holidays knowing how much everyone adores these four days and will treasure them forever. They have been doing this for about five years now. A lovely tradition.
Celebrate Birthdays properly
It is very easy to let birthdays go by, being too busy or too severely inconvenienced to bother celebrating. But if you build a tradition in your family where everyone gets together for a meal and a birthday cake, chances are birthdays will seem even more special every year. In recent times, as our families have gotten older, my extended family has taken to going to the local RSL for dinner on someone’s birthday. No one has to cook, the food and drink are inexpensive, every family can pay for their own sub-tribe, and no one shirks at coming.
Make Christmas traditions matter
Christmas is a time for family. And no matter how hard it seems to get everyone in your family together, it is the time all children remember, all their lives if done correctly. I have very fond memories of preparing the Christmas food with my Grandmother for days beforehand (and weeks for the pudding) then of setting the table under the tree in the garden that we selected to be the home for every summer Christmas. It was always a simple Christmas, and to this very day I try to replicate many of the recipes my Grandmother used to make back when I was a child. I hope my kids remember them as fondly when they are grown. I have even developed a bit of a tradition in baking a big, basted, sausage-stuffed turkey, which everyone looks forward to. We also take great time and purpose in our putting up of the Christmas tree, which is a big moment in our house, with every decoration carefully loved and remembered for when we bought it on our world’s travels over many years.
Adopt cultural traditions and make them matter
Half my family lives in America, so on Thanksgiving, many of our family get together and “give thanks”. Even though none of us in Australia are American, it seems like a little way of bringing those overseas a little closer to us. We skype the Americans in and show them our funny attempts at traditional American food and everyone laughs.
Play sport together, plan special sporting moments
Golf is a sport that my husband’s family revel in. Whilst none of them are terrific golfers, each of them have pursued the sport for most of their adult years. And now they are all grown up, every year the men get together for a “Golf Day”. They call it the fifteenth hole, and even have a perpetual family trophy they compete for drunkenly each year.
Set a family dinner date every week.
One 60 year old colleague I work with has had a “standing dinner date” every Saturday night at his house for years to which any child that might like to turn up for dinner is welcomed keenly to the same rhythm. Even though his kids are all grown up now, they, almost every Saturday night, will come by for drinks and dinner before they head on to their other later evening obligations. It provides an anchor for his family he says with a grin, giving the kids a reason every week to return to the fold, and to ensure they get one good meal a week.
These traditions work for us, and become more and more special every time we partake in them. Have you got some traditions you look forward to, or that stick in your memory fondly?
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