‘My boyfriend hates my daughter and grandson’

Introducing a new partner to the family can be difficult for all parties, especially when it’s later in life. Disagreements are not uncommon and arguments do break out, however, thankfully this is usually just part of the adjustment period.

Sadly this isn’t always the case and relationships can quickly turn sour as a new boyfriend or girlfriend clashes with a member of the family. For one woman it has progressed so far, that her partner has become nasty towards her own daughter and grandson.

Reaching out for support via The Denver Post’s advice column Ask Amy, the concerned grandmother said she is unsure how to handle the situation.

“I’m 51 years old, and have been in a relationship for over three years with a man who hates my grown daughter and her 10-year-old son,” she wrote.

The woman continued by explaining that she helps to support her daughter financially while also contributing to her own house and expenses, including 90 per cent of the groceries. While her partner pays for the electricity and heating.

“My daughter was 16 when she had my grandson. I was a single mom, and the two of them lived with me for a few years. She eventually got into low-income housing.” she said. “I pay for her car insurance and phone bill.

“This is why my boyfriend says he hates her. He says this takes away from us.”

While she admits she does love the man, the woman said it is beginning to take a toll on her and their relationship. She explained that he has moved out three times in the past year and continues to voice his dislike of her family.

“He’s mean to my grandson. He can’t even look at my daughter,” she wrote. “They don’t know the whole truth, but I’m sure they feel his tension. He brings it up every day.

“I love him, but I feel it’s none of his business what I do for my kids.”

‘Amy’ was quick to respond, suggesting while there are always two sides of every story, perhaps the man is not the right fit for her.

“Maybe you enable your daughter in ways you haven’t described. Maybe your daughter and grandson are openly disrespectful toward your boyfriend,” she replied.

“However, none of this matters, really, because judging from the tone and content of your question; you don’t actually love this guy. And frankly, from your description, he sounds quite unlovable: He doesn’t pull his own weight. He bullies you. He is an enemy to your close and meaningful family relationships. And he keeps leaving you.

“Keep your daughter and grandson.”

Have you ever been in a situation like this? How did you handle it?