Call it quits? Woman says she feels sorry for friends stuck in unhappy marriages

Would you stay in a loveless marriage for convenience or if it meant you were better off financially? That’s what one Gransnet user is asking after four of her friends admitted to staying in unhappy marriages purely for the financial security and lifestyle perks.

“I feel very sorry for women in this position,” she wrote on the online forum. “I have three friends in this position and another one told me the same last night.”

The anonymous woman explained one of her friends wants a divorce because there’s no love left but won’t go through with it because she still wants full access to their holiday cottage and doesn’t want to have to think about the bills being paid.

“I just feel sad,” she wrote. “Four of my closest friends stuck married to insensitive, controlling, or disinterested men and no way out of it because they don’t want to lose the financial quality of life.”

Fellow users were quick to comment, with many sharing their own experiences. “I was like your friend,” one commented. “Life was so miserable that I left a very comfortable home and lifestyle with just some clothes and a hairdryer and I went into a grotty little rented house for three years whilst I got back on my feet.

“I suppose it depends on what is more important; lifestyle and money or peace of mind and happiness.”

While another user said it’s really down to what is more important to you in the end, writing: “I chose independence over material gains and I am so happy I did.”

A third wrote: “I think it’s also the fear of making the change, of being the one to make the decision. The main thing I’d want to be sure of is some degree of financial security rather than luxuries like holidays and second homes.”

Facing a sudden end to a long-term marriage or relationship can feel daunting and impossible. For many, getting divorced in later life can be scary — especially for those who find it difficult to be alone or rely financially on their spouses.

One Starts at 60 community member recently opened up about her personal struggles in this area in a deeply personal blog last month. “Single, female and over 60,” the guest contributor wrote. “That’s me and thousands like me in Australia. What’s sad is 34 per cent of single females over 60 years of age in this country live below the poverty line.

“Most of these women are widowed or divorced. Mine is the latter. We are part of the so-called Baby Boomers, although personally I’m not fond of that phrase. If a woman is widowed and from this age group, chances are she didn’t work outside the home and had no way of earning and saving or accumulating superannuation. If a woman is divorced, she too more than likely was a homemaker and perhaps only worked full time once divorced.”