Mother in despair as the kids from her blended family refuse to accept her

Relationship breakdowns can be very hard for kids but also for the new anyone who forms a deep connection with a divorcee. Feelings of stress, guilt and betrayal can further be heightened when a new spouse comes onto the scene and while many dream of becoming the perfect ‘Brady Bunch’ sometimes it just doesn’t happen.

Writing to the Washington Post’s Ask Amy advice column, one mum has pleaded for advice after her husbands kids still refuse to accept her after two decades of marriage.

In an open letter to the site, the mother explained that when her husband and her merged their two families they became a true “Brady Bunch”. The only problem is that while her children have been accepting of their new father figure, her hubbies children are another story.

“They don’t know when my birthday is and don’t acknowledge it. I don’t get a call or a card on Mother’s Day. I don’t receive Christmas gifts,” she wrote. “I never get thanks for their birthday, Christmas or other special occasion gifts that I send, nor do I receive acknowledgment for gifts to the grandchildren.”

The mother said that their lack of care makes her feel “hurt” and rejected, “I feel hurt and fed up. I’m tired of feeling this way,” she wrote. “I raised these kids for more than half their childhoods, so I realize that I share the blame for their bad behavior.”

“It feels like they don’t want me in their lives.”

Amy’s reply detailed various ways the mother could try and improve the relationship but reminded the writer that being a step-parent is always a hard task, “Being a stepparent is a generally thankless job. Years don’t make the job easier, or the relationships with your now-grown stepchildren any less complicated than when you first met one another.”

Amy asked the writer if she had discussed her frustrations with her husband noting that it is also his responsibility to bring his kids into line writing, “If he had done things differently when the kids were younger, surely they would know when your birthday is.”

She also said the children might just be trapped in bad patterns and it did not mean they were without care, but rather were unaware how to communicate that care.

The column advised that the mother should discuss how she was feeling with the children before jumping to any conclusions adding, “f you try and nothing changes, you might choose to simply step back and anchor instead to those relationships in your life that are more positive and balanced.”

Can you relate to this mothers story? Have you managed to come out the other side?

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