Blending a family with stepchildren, parents and all in between can wreak havoc on any relationship and it takes time to bond and adjust to the new way of life.
One worried grandma has reached breaking point as she struggles to form a connection with her stepson, to the point where it is impacting her relationship with her husband. Full of jealousy, insecurity and misery, the woman took to popular online forum Gransnet for advice, desperate for answers and ways to solve the continued problem eating away at her.
The family unit, which is made up for four adult sons (two each to the gran and her husband) was thrown out of whack when one of the woman’s stepsons chose to move back to their home town following a marriage breakdown.
“My husband has always had a very close relationship with this boy but I hate him. Over the years he has caused more worry than the other three put together,” the concerned gran wrote.
“He split up with his wife a year ago as she had an affair, we all felt heartily sorry for him and provided a shoulder to cry on through his tantrums and vitriol about her.
“However, three months ago we found out that he has a two year old daughter that none of us knew about – and yes, that means he too was having an affair whilst married.”
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Wrought with frustration at her stepson’s lack of care and support for his third child, the gran said she is fed up with his behaviour and has decided to end the relationship with him.
While this decision was understood by her husband, the heartbroken woman admitted she feels jealous by the relationship her stepson still shares with his father.
“I feel like my husband doesn’t support me and it makes me miserable, I have even thought about getting divorced so I will be out of the situation, but not sure if that’s my twisted head playing with me,” she said.
Searching for answers, the woman admitted she needed to be steered onto the right track whether that meant words of advice or a “kick up the bum”.
Most fellow bloggers suggested she speak to counsellor as a way to clear her head and move towards the right decision.
“I think the best way forward is to seek some form of one-on-one counselling to help you look at the situation in a wider context and discuss it with someone who can be equally objective,” one person commented.
“I do not think this is a ground for considering divorce. I am assuming there are other more serious problems that make you think of such a drastic step. It is sometimes hard to get things in proportion when something begins to grate on you, and it looms longer in your mind than perhaps it warrants. I do agree that it might help to find an impartial professional in real life with whom you can discuss the situation,” another added.
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