Breaking point: Gran reveals tough decision to ‘finally cut off’ sibling

Family relationships can be difficult to maintain, particularly if one party seems to be taking advantage of another, and often feelings of anger and resentment can lead to estrangement

That’s precisely what happened to one woman, who revealed she made the decision to “cut off” her 71-year-old sister after realising her sibling was using her as a “back-up plan” and didn’t reciprocate when it came to gifts and caring for one another, even going as far as allegedly stealing from her and their late mother.

The UK woman – identified only as ‘Mebster’ – published a post titled ‘Finally cut off sister today’ on online forum site Gransnet, in which she revealed her reasons for calling time on her relationship with her sister.

“My sister, 71, is a hoarder and compulsive spender who always took more than her share, to the point of stealing from me and our late mother,” the woman explained.

“I’ve tried to care for her anyway, visiting during extended illness, sending holiday gifts (no reciprocation).

“Her kids won’t care for her, one completely estranged. Her marriage is failing and she’s nearly broke.  I’m obviously her ‘back-up plan’, but her refusal to own up to past wrongs has ended it.”

She ended the post by saying: “I wish her luck finding another man (her hope) at age 71, with long suffering husband still in residence.”

After explaining her reasons, the woman received an outpouring of support from other forum members who told her to “be strong”. One supporter revealed she had been through a similar thing with her own sibling who she said broke their mother’s heart with her “betrayals and cruelty”.

“Be strong,” she said. “There’ll be a lot of weedling and persuasions as she gets more desperate for some to pander to her. She may even apologise and promise to do better. It won’t happen. Time you lived your life in peace without this ‘hanger-on’.

“If I sound bitter it’s because I too have a sister; not a hoarder but a violent thief who broke our mother’s heart with her betrayals, cruelty and indifference.”

However another user said the woman shouldn’t blame her sister “for not being who you want her to be”, writing: “It may be a little late in the game to expect her to own up to past transgressions. Accepting that your tolerance for the ‘entire’ circumstance has reached its limit would be a healthy reason for distancing her.

“It would be unhealthy to blame her for not being who you want her to be. Doing so will only create or increase feelings of resentment. Owning up to the situation having become ‘too much’ for you is enough.”

In the delicate dance of family ties, sometimes the bravest step is the one toward self-preservation, even if it means cutting ties with those who have taken advantage.