During a training session at an artillery unit the sergeant major was busy describing how the sophisticated aiming device of the artillery weapon system is used: “As you all know, there are 180 degrees in a circle.”
One of the soldiers put up his hand and said: “But there are 360 degrees in a circle, sergeant major.”
“You idiot,” replied the sergeant-major. “I am obviously speaking about a small circle!”
A little girl runs out to the backyard where her father is working, and asks him: “Daddy, what’s sex?”
Her father sits her down, and tells her all about the birds and the bees. He tells her about conception, sexual intercourse, sperm and eggs. He goes on to tell her about puberty, menstruation and erections. He thinks, what the hell, and goes on to tell her the works.
He covers a wide and varied assortment of sub topics and by the time he’s finished, his daughter is somewhat awestruck with this sudden influx of bizarre new knowledge. Her father finally asks: “So what did you want to know about sex for?”
“Oh, mummy said to tell you lunch would be ready in a couple of secs…”
A couple goes to an art gallery. They find a picture of a naked woman with only her privates covered with leaves. The wife doesn’t like it and moves on but the husband keeps looking.
The wife asks: “What are you waiting for?”
The husband replies: “Autumn.”