And on the sixth day…

God creating spiders

God: Make it have eight legs.

Angel: Seems excessive, but okay.

God: And eight eyes.

Angel: You need to calm down a li —

God: Give it a bum rope.

God creating kittens

God: Make them fluffy and adorable, like furry hugs.

Angel: That’s so swee —

God: And put razor blades on their feet.

God creating mosquitos

God: I wonder how I could get everyone to spray chemicals on themselves and also slap their own faces…?

God creating bees

God: Put a needle on its bum.

Angel: Come on God, what —

God: Make its vomit delicious.

Angel: What the heck?!

God creating praying mantis

God: Make an insect that does karate.

Angel: Okay…

God: Now, make her bite her husband’s head off.

Angel: Dude, we need to talk.

God creating dogs

God: Oh these turned out great. I’m going to want all of these back at some point.

God creating pandas

God: Cow bears.

Angel: What?

God: Did I stutter?

Angel: …

God: Take a cow and make it a bear.

God creating snakes

God: How about a sock that’s angry all the time?

God creating alligators

God: See that log?

Angel: Yeah…

God: Fill it with teeth.

Angel: Say again?

God: Fill it!

God creating jellyfish

God: How about an evil bag?

God creating parrots

God: Let’s make a tie dye chicken that screams actual words at you.

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