From ‘love blobs’ to train sets: Wife shares her grievances about hilarious relationship quirks

While it’s a common notion that women mature earlier than men, a wife on the verge of divorce has sought advice from online strangers. Venting her grievances on Mumsnet, her detailed account of relationship bugbears has left readers in stitches.

The woman, who posted under the name Spyhnx, says her 40-something-year-old husband’s “childish” and “pedantic” behaviour has left her feeling, shall we say… less than attracted to him.

The woman quite harshly titled the post “My husband makes me feel sick”, before going to say she’s struggling to even lay next to her husband, who acts “like a toddler”.

“[I’m a] first time poster,” the woman begins. “Been reading other posts and felt it’s time to ask if men ever grow up after 40? I am lying in bed and have started grinding my teeth every night, feeling ‘the ick’ with my husband. He is over 40, [but] still acts like a toddler.”

Unfortunately, the post doesn’t get any nicer, with the woman then listing his behaviour, which to be fair to the disenchanted wife, does sound slightly eccentric.

“Some of the things that are making me want to leave him: he says ‘hospickle’, ‘lickle’. He gets excited about bin day (sometimes even planning events around it). He is mean with money: getting worse every year. [I’m now] not allowed to put fatballs out for the birds… they don’t have a job or pay for the food. Always looking for money-making schemes like some kind of goblin from a fairytale.

“I could go on and on. He acts about five years old, with his hand-rubbing gleeful face when he spotted 10p on the floor today! I’m lying in bed and can’t get his stupid gleeful face off my mind!”

The woman then describes how she’s just witnessed him setting his alarm, saying she is hopeful that he’s getting up early to help with the kids, only to realise it’s bin day. She writes, “He has set his alarm now, I had hoped it was to get up to help get the children ready for school, but no, he has set it as it’s grey bin day tomorrow and he wants to rummage through nextdoor’s bin. What a pratt.”

If you think she must be wrapping things up here though, you’re wrong. The woman isn’t done and continues with what seems like a never-ending list of issues, this time taking aim at his train-set hobby, which seems to have had a Covid-safe makeover.

“He is also pedantic, nosy and plays with his train set every night. He has even rearranged the carriages and stations so the passengers are [at a] Covid-safe distance,” she writes. “I thought he was joking until he showed me the waiting room that was doubling up for any Covid emergencies! They are plastic [figurines]. I was pretty stunned at the Covid-safe passengers … He had made them masks, and several had been arrested for not sticking to the rules!”

While his “childish” behaviour is enough of a reason for concern for his wife, it’s the intimacy where the relationship really falls flat. The wife describes her husband’s interesting technique to get her in the mood, and we can’t really blame for woman for not feeling frisky.

“He is wanting sex but how can I get aroused by a man who says ‘can I have a go of your love blobs’,” she writes. “I feel like I genuinely could be sick on him if I have sex.

“I think I am wanting to divorce and start afresh! I think I have definitely outgrown him and can’t even remember why I fell for him in the first place. Anyone else divorced because of similar reasons?”

Mumsnet users did not hold back, with some responses taking the woman’s side and a few that were not safe for publication!

One user wrote, “Seriously, leave him OP [original poster]. He thinks he’s charmingly eccentric but it’s beyond annoying. It’s frankly bizarre and gross. He’s not going to magically turn into someone who doesn’t give you ‘the ick’.”

Others seemed to take her husband’s side, warning her that his sweet traits were uncommon and she would be “shocked” by the men in the real world. “What I will say OP though is, if you do separate, any man you meet after him is going to appear a hard-ass — it could be a shock,” the user commented.

Others just couldn’t stop laughing, commenting, “I’m so sorry, this sounds horrible for you, but that update about getting up early for bin day made me absolutely howl with laughter.”