Relationships

Mother’s frustration as adult children refuse to clear out old rooms

Mar 29, 2018

A mother has asked for advice as her adult kids refuse to fully move out. (Picture posed by model).

A “frustrated” mother has begged for advice as her adult children refuse to clear out their old rooms – despite moving out and not paying her any rent for them.

While many parents like to keep their children’s rooms intact once they’ve left home, so they can return at any time, others prefer to convert them into guest rooms or a new space for them to use in their retirement. However, this mother’s kids have banned her from touching their belongings, leaving her feeling helpless.

Writing on popular online forum Gransnet, the user admitted she’s now considering bagging up her adult children’s things, and putting them in her attic for them to eventually sort through.

Revealing her offsprings’ belongings are in a complete mess, and even spill over into her landing, she wrote: “They both still have rooms full of stuff that they come back and look through for something and chuck everywhere. I’m not kidding when I say the rooms look like there has been an explosion and I’m so embarrassed and frustrated, even though no-one sees them.”

She added: “It’s MY home and its driving me nuts. I gave them a deadline of the end of this month but nothing has happened. They go crazy if I go in their old rooms but [am I being unreasonable] if, once the deadline has passed, I go in and bag their stuff up?”

While they don’t pay rent for the rooms, they have been gone “for some time”, so the belongings are largely lying there untouched. She has now insisted she won’t throw away anything her children want to keep, and will clear enough space to keep it all in her loft for them – even though it’s likely to fill most of the space up.

It sparked a wide debate on the forum, as other mothers and grandparents weighed in and shared their opinions on the best course of action. One was all for bagging up the things, and took it one step further as she commented: “I would not even offer the space in the loft. If you give a long overdue ultimatum it is their choice. You [are not being unreasonable]. They are!”

Another agreed, adding: “Every time you visit them take a box of stuff with you and leave it in their home whether rented or bought.”

Meanwhile others admitted they knew people who kept their children’s belongings at home for decades after they left, with one writing: “A friend if mine has a daughter in her forties who left home over 20 years ago. She still calls it C—s room and it’s full of her stuff,” and another added: “I have an aunt who won’t downsize because of the ‘children’s’ stuff. (All in their 40s).”