For many people when they are married, one takes on the other’s last name, usually the males. But what happens if the couple separate and the wife wants to change both her last name back to her maiden name, and the child’s as well.
It’s a complicated issue and one that could cause a lot of family turmoil. That is the exact problem one mother is facing, as she goes through the process of divorcing her husband.
Taking to online forum Mumsnet, the woman asked if she is being unreasonable in wanting to change her daughter’s surname to her own.
“I’m just about to get divorced and my 1yr DD (dear daughter) has his surname,” she explained. “I’m planning to change mine back and I don’t see why she has to have a different name to me for the rest of her life, when her father has basically decided to leave us because we’re too much hassle.”
Contemplating ways to keep both parents happy, the mother said she has considered a double barrel surname but that isn’t her first choice.
“I was thinking double barrel our surnames (they would sound fine together) and then we’re both on there,” she wrote.
“I know it’s just semantics, but I always dreamed of having a child and I love being a mum and I don’t see why I have to lose our family name connection because I married the wrong man.”
Her post received varying responses with some saying go for it and change the surname, while others said it’s not really worth it.
“I’d agree with you, your daughter is only 1 so it’s not like she’s used to having his surname so she would know no different,” one person commented.
However, another claimed, it’s only a name saying: “What is in a name? Ask him. If he says no that’s that isn’t it? It won’t really affect her life so don’t let this upset you too much.”
Another added: “You can ask her school to use your surname. You’ll just have to explain to her why the surname on her passport is different if you get one.”
The tradition of one person changing their name to the others isn’t quite as common nowadays with some even choosing to make up a completely new last name to share.
It may seem strange but the trend of tailor-made surnames is becoming a big hit with new parents, particularly in Australia,Essential Baby reports.
Mark McCrindle of McCrindle Research told the publication that thousands of Aussies are making the change annually and while it has its difficulties its making families feel more inclusive.