‘My MIL turns up to our house whenever she likes’

Dropping past a relative or friend’s house use to be common practice, however it’s not as common nowadays, and some might even find it rude. One frustrated daughter-in-law has sparked an online debate after revealing her in-laws came over unannounced.

Taking to the online forum, Gransnet, she wrote: “We are on holiday for the week and last night I received a text from MIL (mother-in-law) saying they have been to our house to drop off a birthday present for my DS (darling son)”.

The woman then asked readers if she was being unreasonable to think that you don’t just turn up to someone’s house and expect to be welcomed.

“Plus, DH [darling husband] is now left feeling guilty that we weren’t there, which he knows is silly but they are masters at the guilt trip. How can I tell them politely that they are not welcome to turn up when they like?” She asked.

Most readers, however, weren’t so forgiving accusing the daughter-in-law for getting too worked up over nothing.

“Having grown up before mobile phones and before every household had a phone, I find it hard to adjust to this new world where you have to text for permission before knocking on someone’s door,” one reader commented.

Another added, “I’m surprised they want to visit when they are treated so badly by you. Honestly, why can’t you just make a cup of tea and have a chat with them”.

Some, however, agreed with the daughter-in-law: “I hate it when people turn up unannounced. It’s not difficult to text/call and arrange! If someone “pops in” I usually end up politely ushering them out the door at the first window. I can’t stand it”. 

Another added, “I too grew up in an age pre-mobile phones and was still brought up that it was polite to ring ahead to see if it was acceptable to attend”.

Of all the relationships in family life, the one between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is often the most challenging. There have been plenty of stories in the past about mothers-in-law and their offspring’s partners fighting it out for love and attention, and the touchy subject was even immortalised on screen by Jane Fonda and Jennifer Lopez in their 2005 film, Monster-in-law. 

More often than not though, the mother-in-law is painted as an overbearing figure who can’t help but meddle in their child’s life.

What do you think? Do you call before you visit a friend?