Welcoming a baby is a special time for parents and grandparents, with many new mums choosing to have their own mother by their side for some moral support during the birth.
But when one woman chose to keep that moment between her and her husband, it sparked a bitter feud with her mother – who felt hurt and betrayed not to have been invited to watch her grandson being welcomed into the world.
Taking to social forum Netmums, the 24-year-old woman explained she welcomed her baby son in August but her mother still hadn’t visited her grandson due to the feud – 10 weeks after the birth.
“In the run up my mum kept demanding she was at the birth because ‘I won’t cope’ and I need her there,” she wrote. “I tried to tell her politely that if I need her I’ll send my husband to pick her up straight away and that I’d be fine. I was fine and I felt I coped really well with the birth.”
The woman said she text her mum to share the exciting news on the same day she gave birth, but rather than a congratulations in response, she got a series of furious replies.
“She didn’t ask me how I was or say congratulations just bombarded me with questions like why didn’t I get my husband to pick her up, telling me I’m evil and not normal for depriving a grandmother of the experience, that I’m mentally unstable etc then went on to abuse my husband, she hopes he loses myself and our son and that we can go to hell pretty much. And that’s putting it nicely,” she wrote.
The woman said her husband now wants her to stay away from her mother, as he doesn’t trust what she’ll be like when she eventually meets their son. However, it’s making the woman question if she did the right thing.
“Should I feel guilty? The experience of the birth was amazing and I’m glad it was only myself and my husband there,” she concluded.
It sparked a huge debate between other mums on the forum, with many rushing to assure her she has nothing to feel guilty about.
“No you absolutely should not feel guilty. A child’s birth is magical and it is up to the parents who they want present. I love my mum to bits but no way did i want her there when I gave birth!” One wrote.
Another added: “No you shouldn’t feel guilty. Lots of mums want to support their daughter in labour, but it was your choice. The way she has reacted is totally unacceptable.”
And one wrote: “I can’t believe she spoke to you like that! My MIL wanted to be at the birth but I couldn’t think of anything worse so told her no and she accepted it. My own mum didn’t even ask she knew I was happy just to have husband!”
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However, others expressed sympathy for the gran with one writing: “I kind of feel sorry for your mum. No disrespect to you but she sounds so disappointed and upset.I can’t blame her to be honest, receiving a text after her grandchild was born is so impersonal.”
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