Relationships

Dad’s anguish as daughter snubs him and refuses to attend grandad’s funeral

Jan 24, 2019

Many fathers go through the grief of losing touch with a child at every age. Source: Getty. (Picture posed by model).

A father has shared his anguish and confusion after his daughter completely cut off all contact with him without reason, despite them always having had a close relationship in the past.

The 62-year-old Aussie man recalled the close bond he always shared with his daughter in an exclusive chat with Starts at 60, admitting they even enjoyed a seven week trip abroad together in 2015, followed by another six week trip in 2017.

However, seemingly without reason, he claimed she suddenly stopped talking to him almost a year ago and even refused to attend her grandad’s funeral when he passed away.

“In 2015, I took her on a seven week trip to the USA and then for six weeks in 2017,” he explained. “Of course we had disagreements during those trips as you would expect being in close quarters for that period of time.

“When we arrived home in Australia everything seemed to be okay. She was interested in photography so I gave her all my camera and studio equipment.”

However, he admitted it swiftly went downhill from there as his daughter began to distance herself and spend more time with her mother.

The man explained that he split from the mother 13 years before, and while it was hostile between them for the first two years, they then built a fairly close friendship – so much so he even helped her move house two years ago.

“Now even she [my ex-wife] has snubbed me,” the worried dad said. “She and my daughter took a trip to England this year and left instructions with my ex in-laws that, if they saw me, not to tell me where they were.”

Despite the instructions, he eventually discovered where they had been when his ex-wife returned to Australia – but claimed he was told that their daughter had remained in England.

“Now I believe my daughter is home but my ex is denying that for whatever reason,” he added.

Admitting he doesn’t know where to turn next, he said he’s started looking back over their father-daughter relationship through the years, but can’t pinpoint an issue.

“When my daughter was growing up I was strict on her with her education but overall was probably too soft with her,” he insisted. “I have always encouraged her in sport and other activities. I readily taught her to drive and have always welcomed her friends. I supported her after boyfriends came and went [too].”

While he was left devastated by the sudden estrangement, he said the real shock came when his father sadly passed away and his daughter failed to get in touch with him.

“Not only did she not contact me she refused to contribute to the funeral by not sending any memories of her grandfather to be read out by other grandchildren,” he claimed. “My father adored all his grandchildren and was fabulous with them. Twenty-one of 23 living grandchildren attended his funeral. (One could not travel across Australia due to work commitments).

“Dad passed away not understanding why my daughter was snubbing me and him.”

Estrangement, like that suffered by this father, is a huge issue in Australia. In fact, writing in her 2016 book Family Estrangement, social worker and Australian author Kylie Agllias said as many as one in 12 families have been impacted, with around one in 25 Australians reporting an issue between them and family members.

This story is part of a series Starts at 60 is doing on family estrangement. You can read more stories by clicking the Read More links above.