Many Australians grew up in a time when family problems stayed behind closed doors.
Children were expected to get on with things, while men were expected to be tough. Difficult experiences were rarely discussed, let alone linked to health decades later.
But new Australian research suggests the events we experience as children can leave a far longer shadow than many people realise.
A report from the Australian Institute of Family Studies, drawing on data from the Ten to Men study – the world’s largest longitudinal study on male health – found childhood adversity is surprisingly common among Australian men.
More than six in 10 men reported experiencing at least one adverse childhood experience before the age of 18, while almost half experienced two or more. These experiences ranged from parental separation and household dysfunction through to emotional, physical or sexual abuse.
Researchers found the effects can linger well into adulthood and, for some men, they remain evident decades later.
Dr Sean Martin, Longitudinal Head of Ten to Men, said one of the most striking findings was the sheer number of men affected.
“We found that almost two thirds of our guys had experienced one of these adverse childhood experiences and almost half had experienced two or more,” Martin said.
“I think the overall population burden that exists is pretty alarming.”
The study identified a group of men who had experienced multiple forms of adversity during childhood. Many were still experiencing significant mental health challenges years later.
Importantly, researchers found the connection remained even after accounting for factors such as income, education and employment. In other words, childhood experiences appeared to exert an influence long after childhood itself had passed.
For many readers, that finding may ring true. While time can soften memories, some experiences have a way of resurfacing throughout life, particularly during periods of stress, illness, retirement, relationship breakdown or loss.
One of the challenges, Martin said, is that distress in men does not always present in ways people expect. Excessive risk-taking, increased anger, disrupted sleep patterns and withdrawing from activities that once brought enjoyment can all be signs a man is struggling, even if he would never describe himself as depressed.
“We’ve learned a lot over the past couple of decades about trauma-informed care,” Martin said. “Changes to sleep patterns or disconnection from normal activities are the sorts of behaviours that might lead us to better identify men in need of help and then direct them into care.”
That can be particularly important for older generations of men who were raised to push through difficulties rather than talk about them.
Many grew up hearing phrases such as “harden up”, “don’t make a fuss” or “just get on with it”. While resilience can be a strength, it can also make it harder for some men to recognise when they need support.
The research wasn’t all bleak with one of the strongest findings about the role other people play in our lives; it had nothing to do with medication, therapy or clinical treatment.
Men who reported strong social connections and reliable support networks experienced significantly better mental health outcomes than those who felt isolated.
“For those that have very strong social connection, their risk for adverse mental health outcomes was reduced by a third,” Martin said.
The finding reinforces what community organisations, sporting clubs and Men’s Sheds have observed for years. Having people around you who know you, check in on you and provide a sense of belonging can make a meaningful difference.
Martin believes this becomes especially important later in life.
For some men, retirement can shrink social circles, and for others, widowhood, divorce or declining health can leave them unexpectedly isolated.
“If they lose that relationship, they’re often quite vulnerable to these adverse mental health outcomes,” he said.
Many readers may wonder whether events from decades ago are still worth thinking about, and Martin believes the answer is straightforward.
“If something continues to surface in your thoughts after many years, it may be worth acknowledging rather than dismissing,” he said.
“The fact you’re still thinking around those sorts of issues, even though that was a long time ago, have a chat with a GP. It doesn’t necessarily mean they will have to go full scale into therapy or treatment, but it’s something they could acknowledge.”
That conversation might begin with a trusted friend, a family member, a partner who notices something isn’t quite right, or a GP asking questions that go beyond physical symptoms.
The point is not to dwell on the past. It is to understand whether unresolved experiences may still be influencing the present.
Perhaps the most encouraging message from the research is that childhood adversity does not have to define the rest of a person’s life.
The experiences may remain part of someone’s story, and they certainly do not have to dictate what comes next.
“There absolutely is hope,” Martin said.
“It’s never too late.”
For older Australians who grew up believing they simply had to carry life’s burdens alone, that message may be reassuring.
The experiences of childhood cannot be changed, but understanding them can sometimes be the first step towards moving forward. And according to Martin, help is available, whether that comes through healthcare professionals, family, friends or community connections.
For many men, the hardest part may simply be starting the conversation.
IMPORTANT LEGAL INFO This article is of a general nature and FYI only, because it doesn’t take into account your personal health requirements or existing medical conditions. That means it’s not personalised health advice and shouldn’t be relied upon as if it is. Before making a health-related decision, you should work out if the info is appropriate for your situation and get professional medical advice.