A shipwrecked mariner had spent several years on a deserted island, completely alone. Then one morning he was thrilled to see a ship offshore and a smaller vessel pulling out towards him.
When the boat grounded on the beach, the officer in charge handed the marooned sailor a bundle of newspapers and told him: “The captain said to read through these and let us know if you still want to be rescued.”
A little girl and a little boy were at day care one day. The girl approaches the boy and says: “Hey Stevie, wanna play house?”
He says: “Sure! What do you want me to do?”
The girl replies: “I want you to communicate.”
He says to her: “That word is too big. I have no idea what it means.”
The little girl smirks and says: “Perfect. You can be the husband.”
One night a guy takes his girlfriend home. As they are about to kiss each other goodnight at the front door, the guy starts feeling a little frisky. With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against the wall and smiling, he says to her: “Honey, would you take me upstairs?”
Horrified, she replies: “Are you mad? My parents will see us!”
“Oh come on! Who’s gonna see us at this hour?” he asks, grinning at her.
“No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?”
“Oh come on! There’s nobody around, they’re all sleeping!”
“No way. It’s just too risky!”
“Oh please, please…. I love you so much!”
“No, no, and no. I love you too, but I just can’t!”
“Oh yes you can. Please?”
“No, no. I just can’t!”
“I’m begging you… “
Out of the blue, the light on the stairs goes on, and the girl’s older sister shows up in her pyjamas, hair dishevelled, and in a sleepy voice, she says: “Dad says to go ahead and take him upstairs if you want, or I can do it, or if need be, mum says she can come down herself and do it, but for God’s sake, tell him to take his hand off the intercom!”