Did you hear about the racing snail who got rid of his shell?

He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him sluggish.

What did the snail say as he rode along on the turtle’s back?

Wheeee!

A snail named Samuel just got a raise working as a realtor. He decided since he got this money he will get a custom sports car with a big “S” on the side to show everyone the car is his. While he’s flexing his new car down the streets of Los Angeles, he passes an elderly couple sitting on their porch. As he passes the man exclaims to his wife, ” Look at that S-Car-Go!”

What did the snail say to his enemy?

I’ll get you next slime!

A man arrived at a Halloween party with a woman stuck to his back. A guest asks, “what are you dressed as?” and the man replies, “a snail!” Confused, the guest asks, “But who’s that on your back?” and the man says, “That’s Michelle!”