A husband and wife entered the dentist’s office. The wife said: “I want a tooth pulled. I don’t want gas or Novocain because I’m in a terrible hurry. Just pull the tooth as quickly as possible”.
“You’re a brave woman,” said the dentist. “Now, show me which tooth it is.”
The wife turns to her husband and says: “Open your mouth and show the dentist which tooth it is, dear.”
A young accountant spends a week at his new office with the retiring accountant he is replacing. Each and every morning as the more experienced accountant begins the day, he opens his desk drawer, takes out a worn envelope, removes a yellowing sheet of paper, reads it, nods his head, looks around the room with renewed vigour, returns the envelope to the drawer and then begins his day’s work.
After he retires, the new accountant can hardly wait to read for himself the message contained in the envelope in the drawer, particularly since he feels so inadequate in replacing the far wiser and more highly esteemed accountant.
Surely, he thinks to himself, it must contain the great secret to his success, a wondrous treasure of inspiration and motivation.
His fingers tremble anxiously as he removes the mysterious envelope from the drawer and reads the following message: “Debits in the column toward the file cabinet. Credits in the column toward the window”.
A secretary was leaving the office one Friday evening when she encountered Mr Jones, the human resources manager, standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand.
“Listen,” said Mr Jones. “This is important, and my secretary has already left. Can you make this thing work?”
“Certainly,” said the secretary. She turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button.
“Excellent, excellent!” said Mr Jones as his paper disappeared inside the machine. “I just need one copy.”