An elderly man was stopped by the police at around 2am and asked where he was going at that time of night…

He replied, “I’m on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body as well as smoking and staying out late with friends.”

The officer then asked, “Really? Who’s giving that lecture at this time of night?”

The man looked at him with raised eyebrows and replied, “That would be my wife!”