If you live with a cat, you already know who’s really in charge. Cats don’t just steal our hearts – they steal our seats, our keyboards, and our dignity. These 13 cat jokes capture everything we love (and quietly fear) about our feline companions, from their supreme confidence to their complete disregard for human authority. Whether you’re a lifelong cat owner or simply cat-curious, prepare for a few laughs and plenty of knowing nods.

A tom cat and a tabby cat were courting on a back fence at night. The tom leaned over to the tabby with pent up passion and purred … “I’ll die for you” The tabby gazed at him from under lowered eye lids and asked, “How many times?”.

Why don’t cats play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs.

What is a cat’s way of keeping law & order? Claw Enforcement.

Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of wool? She had mittens.

What do you call the cat that was caught by the police? The purrpatrator.

Why is the cat so grouchy? Because he’s in a bad mewd.

What do cats like to eat for breakfast? Mice Krispies.

Where is one place that your cat can sit, but you can’t? Your lap.

Why did the cat run from the tree? Because it was afraid of the bark!

How many cats can you put into an empty box? Only one. After that, the box isn’t empty.

How do cats end a fight? They hiss and make up.

What does a cat like to eat on a hot day? A mice cream cone.

What do you get when you cross a chick with an alley cat? A peeping tom.