I’d like to hear from anyone who has attempted having a bath in those fancy new tubs that seem to stand alone in the bathroom. They look like giant bowls.

I’d like to know if they managed to get out unaided and with limbs intact, not to mention clean. I’d like to know if a kind of pulley system was involved or abseiling gear? Of course it goes without saying that in the first place, I’d also like to know how they got in. They seem very deep and there’s no ladder nearby. Not even a chair.

Bathrooms are said to be the place where most accidents happen apparently, hence the hand rails in showers and the non-slip tiles. There is nothing helpful in those bathrooms.

I visited a new unit for sale and through the glass wall in the lounge room you could see the bath and presumably the occupant/s. Maybe that was a safety feature. The person watching television could come and rescue you or fetch your snorkel.

When I questioned the strange design, the salesperson told me that you could add a curtain if you found this a bit revealing! Another person told me that in the land of the free (the United States) there is a type of glass that you touch and it becomes opaque. Very handy, but I’m in Australia and no such glass seems around. Though we’re unconcerned about near nudity at the beach it seems strange in the living area of a unit.

I bought an old house with a wonderful bath. It’s low, has a little rail built in and a handy lower side, which is very helpful when getting out. I had it moved from being up against the wall so there is now a little shelf where you can put all the stuff necessary for a good soak: your book to read, your cup of tea or your scotch, a phone and music gadget and your pillow.

Maybe they’ve already done what I would in those circumstances. I’d fill it with soil and compost and grow something nice, a fernery perhaps or marijuana seeing it’s about to be legal. You could fit your two plants in there. Maybe your goldfish would like new digs. There’s another idea. I need to hear from someone who has survived using this bathtub and has unbroken limbs. Anyone out there?

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