Little Johnny was late to school. His teacher asked him why he was late, but he had a very good excuse.
“Well miss, I was in my way to school when I saw this terrible car accident! This hippie was driving their van with a surfboard on top. He had to slam on his brakes to avoid an accident, but his surfboard went flying off the roof and got this pedestrian right up the arse!”
The teacher was horrified by the language and said, “Rectum Johnny, rectum!”
Johnny replied “Wrecked him? It bloody near killed him!”