This is Day 2 of Starts at 60’s special report on the Sandwich Generation – older Australians who find themselves caring for both elderly parents and adult children, often while still managing their own health, finances and retirement plans.
Yesterday’s story revealed how many readers feel “trapped” and “torn in two” by the unrelenting pressures of multigenerational caregiving. (If you missed it, you can read Day 1 here).
Today, the focus shifts to the personal toll of that constant responsibility – and the question every over-60 carer must eventually face: how do you care for yourself when you’re always caring for everyone else?
The hidden toll of endless care
Health professionals warn that burnout among older carers is now one of Australia’s most significant wellbeing challenges.
More than one in 10 carers report experiencing severe psychological distress – more than twice the national average – with many also suffering exhaustion, declining immunity, and symptoms of chronic anxiety or depression.
Care experts say that self-neglect among older carers rarely comes from ignorance. It’s usually driven by guilt and obligation. Many tell researchers they plan to “rest later,” but later seldom comes. By the time warning signs appear – fatigue, headaches, irritability – they’re already running on empty.
Why self-care is a survival skill, Not a luxury
Health specialists are unanimous: self-care isn’t indulgence; it’s maintenance. Without it, the entire caregiving structure eventually falters.
When carers fall ill or burn out, everyone they support is affected. Protecting their own health therefore protects those they love.
The warning signs of burnout include persistent tiredness, difficulty sleeping, frequent illness, irritability, withdrawal from social life, and neglect of personal medical check-ups. Early recognition is key – small interventions can stop stress from becoming chronic.
Small changes that make a big difference
Professionals who work with older carers advocate what they call “micro self-care” – brief, regular pauses that fit around daily duties rather than long, infrequent breaks.
Even ten minutes can calm the nervous system and reset the body’s stress response. Simple ideas include:
Taking a few slow breaths or stretching before checking the phone each morning.
Stepping outside at midday for sunlight or a short walk.
Drinking water and eating something nourishing during the afternoon slump.
Spending a few quiet minutes reading or listening to music before bed.
These modest actions, repeated consistently, prevent adrenaline from becoming a permanent state.
The Power of Boundaries
For the sandwich generation, setting boundaries may be the single most effective burnout-prevention tool. Yet it’s also one of the hardest to apply.
Older Australians often hesitate to say no, seeing it as selfish. In reality, clear limits allow carers to continue supporting loved ones for longer and with less resentment.
Useful boundaries can include:
Allocating specific hours for care tasks and sticking to them.
Turning off the phone or silencing notifications after a set time each evening.
Sharing responsibilities with siblings or using respite services when available.
Recognising that guilt isn’t evidence of failure — it’s simply a feeling, not a verdict.
Putting such limits in place protects both physical stamina and emotional stability.
Letting go of perfection
Perfectionism is another silent strain on the sandwich generation. The conviction that “no one else can do it right” traps carers in endless responsibility.
Experts suggest lightening the load wherever possible – outsourcing housework, arranging grocery deliveries, or accepting help from family and neighbours. Even one or two small changes can free up hours each week.
Government-funded programs such as Carer Gateway offer counselling, respite care and practical assistance, most of it free or low-cost. Using these services isn’t weakness; it’s sustainability.
Looking after Body and Mind
Because many carers in their 60s are already managing health conditions of their own, maintaining regular medical care is critical.
Doctors recommend routine check-ups, gentle daily exercise like walking or swimming, balanced nutrition, and sufficient sleep. Social contact also plays a major protective role.
Isolation remains one of caregiving’s greatest dangers. Simply having one person to talk to honestly – a friend, neighbour, or fellow carer – can ease pressure and prevent emotional overload.
Those feeling persistently anxious or low can access help through Carer Gateway, Beyond Blue, or Lifeline, which all provide confidential support.
A Shift in Mindset
Sustainable caregiving ultimately depends on a change in mindset: moving from guilt to permission.
Carers must allow themselves to rest without apology. Taking breaks or saying no doesn’t mean they’ve stopped caring – it means they’re ensuring they can continue caring safely.
Simple habits can reinforce that shift: noting three things that went well each day, practising brief gratitude, or reminding yourself, “I’m doing my best with what I have.”
These small cognitive resets help reduce stress and rebuild resilience.
What Comes Next
Tomorrow, in Day 3 of the Sandwich Generation series, Starts at 60 explores the financial consequences of caring for two generations — how extended support is reshaping retirement plans and forcing many older Australians to work longer or draw on their savings sooner than expected.
If You Need Support
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, help is available:
Carer Gateway – 1800 422 737
Beyond Blue – 1300 22 4636
Lifeline – 13 11 14
Because even the most devoted carers deserve care themselves.