Bill Bailey has a talent for turning everyday moments into wonderfully absurd observations, blending music, whimsy and a touch of chaos into jokes that leave audiences howling. Whether he’s riffing on the strange poetry of English life or poking fun at the quirks of modern technology, Bailey’s humour is unmistakably his own. Here are three jokes that perfectly capture the surreal, clever, and delightfully unexpected world of Bill Bailey.

“I tried to learn mindfulness, but my mind just wandered off halfway through the lesson. It left a note saying, ‘Gone to find snacks.’”

“My dog has started ignoring me completely. I asked him why, and he just sighed and said, ‘Sorry Bill… I’m on airplane mode.’”

“I bought one of those smart fridges. Very impressive … until it started sending me passive-aggressive reminders. ‘Maybe lay off the cheese, mate.’”

“Toughest job I ever had: selling doors, door to door.”

“This was my attempt to deter cold callers: ‘There’s no past, there’s no future, just one pulsating present… Please leave your message after the tone.’”

“Nostalgia: How long’s that been around?”

“A lot of people say there’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I don’t think there’s a fine line, I actually think there’s a yawning gulf. You see some poor bugger scuffling up the road with balloons tied to his ears, he’s not going home to invent a rocket, is he?”

“People say ‘Bill, are you an optimist?’ And I say, ‘I hope so.’”