Cleaning with Maggie May

There is, I find, a peculiar comfort in dusting. It is not the sort of task one rushes at with clenched teeth. Rather, it rewards patience, a decent cloth, and a cup of tea cooling gently on the sideboard. Dust, after all, is inevitable. Our aim is not to vanquish it forever (an ambition for the young), but to keep it politely in its place – a bit like our men.

First, a word on tools. You do not need a cupboard full of gadgets that whirr or flash. A soft microfibre cloth is perfectly adequate and far kinder to furniture than the feathery contraptions of old, which merely redistributed dust with a flourish. Keep a microfibre duster for the higher dusty spots and two cloths: one slightly damp for surfaces, one dry for finishing touches. The damp cloth is the secret weapon, it traps dust rather than chasing it into the air, where it will only settle again in a huff.

Always dust from the top down. This is not a matter for debate. Begin with picture rails, shelves, and the tops of bookcases, then proceed calmly to tables, mantels, and finally the skirting boards. Anything else is like washing one’s stockings before one’s face – not a good idea at any age. Lampshades, incidentally, respond very well to a quick once-over with a lint roller, an invention I wish I’d had in 1960s.

When it comes to frequency, little and often beats heroic efforts. A light dust once or twice a week prevents the build-up that leads to sneezing fits and despair. High-traffic rooms deserve more attention; spare bedrooms may be left to their own devices for a fortnight without causing offence. Do close windows before you begin, unless you wish to invite fresh dust to the party.

Polish should be used sparingly. Modern furniture is not as thirsty as the sideboards of my youth, and over-polishing leaves a sticky residue that attracts more dust than it repels. If you must polish, apply it to the cloth, not the furniture, and do so with restraint and good manners.

Finally, remember that dusting is not a moral test. A home may be warm, welcoming, and well loved with a little dust in the corners. Perfection is overrated; consistency is not. Pop on the Spotify (yes, my grandson introduced me to it, and now, we are on the best of terms – I’m currently dusting to Ella and Loui – absolutely divine), move steadily, and reward yourself when finished. The house will breathe easier, and so will you.
Bidding you a fond farewell until next week x