A man went to the shop the other day. He was only in there for about five minutes and when he came out, there was a traffic officer writing a parking ticket for over-running the meter.
So the man went up to him and said: “Come on, how about giving a man a break?”
The officer ignored him and continued writing the ticket. So the man called him a pencil-pushing idiot. The officer glared at the man and started writing another ticket for also having parked partially on the pavement!
So the man called him a pig. He finished the second ticket and put it on the car with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket!
This went on for about 20 minutes and the more the man abused him, the more tickets he wrote. But the man didn’t care, his car was parked around the corner.
A man walks up to a farmers house and knocks on the door. When a woman opened the door, the man asked if she knew how to make love. Not amused, she slammed the door. The man knocked again and asked the same question.
Again, not amused, she screamed at him to leave. Later, she told her husband of the incident. He said he would stay home the following day just in case. Sure enough, the next day the same man returned. The husband stood behind her while the lady answered the door.
When she was asked again if she knew how to make love, she said yes.
The man replied: “Great, give some to your husband the next time you see him, and tell him to keep away from my wife!”
A police officer pulls over a car load of nuns. The officer says: “Sister, this is a 65km/h highway, why are you going so slow?”
The nun says: “Sir, I saw a lot of signs that said 22, not 65.”
“Oh sister, that’s not the speed limit, that’s the name of the highway you’re on!”
“Oh!” the nun answers. “Silly me! Thanks for letting me know. I’ll be more careful.”
At this point the officer looks in the backseat where the other nuns are shaking and trembling.
The officer says: “Excuse me, Sister, what’s wrong with your friends back there? They’re shaking something terrible.”
“Oh, we just got off highway 140.”