A married man is filled with regret after coming very close to cheating on his wife. He decides to make a confession at the local church’s confessional.
“I almost had an affair with another woman,” he tells the priest.
Confused, the priest pauses for a moment and replies: “What do you mean almost?”
“Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped,” the man replies.
“Rubbing together is the same as putting it in,” the priest yells. “You mustn’t see that woman again. For your sins, say three Hail Marys and put $50 in the donation box.”
The man leaves the confessional, says his prayers then walks over to the donation box. He stops for a moment and puts his $50 back in his pocket.
The priest, who is watching, runs over to the man.
“I saw that,” he says. “You didn’t put the money in the box!”
“That’s right,” the man replies. “But I rubbed the $50 on the box and according to you, it’s the same as putting it in.”