When a father returned from the grocery store, his small son pulled out the box of animal biscuits he had begged for, then he spread the animal shaped crackers all over the kitchen counter.
“What are you doing?” his dad asked.
“The box says you can’t eat them if the seal is broken,” the boy explained. “I’m looking for the seal.”
An English teacher asked her class to write an essay on what they’d do if they had a million dollars. Alec handed in a blank sheet of paper. “Alec!” yelled the teacher, “You’ve done nothing. Why?”
“Because if I had a million dollars, that’s exactly what I would do!”
A team of doctors attended the delivery of quintuplets who were able to walk immediately after the umbilical cords were cut. The senior doctor was asked to explain this unusual occurrence.
“I guess they had a lot of practice,” said the doctor.
“What do you mean, practice?” asked a junior colleague. “They were just born!”
The doctor replied, “Well, it was standing womb only.”