A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice.
After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer: “What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when you’re out of the office?”
“I give it to them,” replied the lawyer, “and then I send them a bill.”
The doctor was shocked, but agreed to give it a try. The next day, still feeling slightly guilty, the doctor prepared the bills. When he went to place them in his mailbox, he found a bill from the lawyer.
In Sunday School, they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially interested when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam’s ribs.
Later in the week, his mother noticed him lying down as if he were ill, and said: “Johnny, what is the matter?”
Little Johnny responded: “I have a pain in my side. I think I’m going to have a wife.”
A grandfather always made a special effort with his grandchildren. Many Sunday mornings he would take his seven year old granddaughter out for a drive in the car for some bonding time.
One particular Sunday however, he had a bad cold and he really didn’t feel like being up at all. Luckily, Grandma came to the rescue and said that she would take the grandchild out. When they returned, the little girl anxiously ran upstairs to see Grandpa.
“Well,” the grandfather asked, “did you enjoy your ride with Granny?”
“Oh yes, Grandpa,” the girl replied, “and do you know what? We didn’t see a single dumb idiot or lousy sh*thead!”