A man joins a big corporate empire as a trainee. On his very first day of work, he dials the pantry and shouts into the phone: “Get me a coffee, quickly!”
The voice from the other side responds: “You fool you’ve dialled the wrong extension! Do you know who you’re talking to, dumbo?”
“No,” replies the trainee.
“It’s the CEO of the company, you fool!”
The trainee shouts back: “And do you know who YOU are talking to, you fool?!”
“No,” replies the CEO indignantly.
“Good!” says the trainee, and puts down the phone.
Mr Smith had been giving his second-grade students a short lesson on science. He had explained about magnets and showed them how they would pick up nails and other bits of iron. And now it was question time.
“Class,” he said. “My name begins with the letter ‘M’ and I pick up things. What am I?”
A little boy in the front row said: “You’re a mother”.
Over breakfast one morning, a woman said to her husband: “I bet you don’t know what day it is today”.
“Of course I do,” he indignantly answered, getting up from the table and going out the door to the office.
At 10am, the doorbell rang. When the woman opened the door, she was handed a box containing a dozen long-stemmed red roses. At 1pm, a foil-wrapped box of her favourite chocolates arrived. Later, a boutique delivered a designer dress.
The woman couldn’t wait for her husband to come home. When he did, she exclaimed: “First the flowers, then the chocolates and then the dress! I’ve never had a more wonderful Chinese New Year in my life!”