A sales representative stops at a small manufacturing plant and presents a box of cigars to the manager as a gift. “No, thanks,” says the plant manager. “I tried smoking a cigar once and I didn’t like it.”
The sales rep shows his display case and then, hoping to clinch a sale, offers to take the manger out for martinis. “No, thanks,” the plant manager replies. “I tried alcohol once, but didn’t like it.”
Then the salesman glances out the officer window and sees a golf course. “I suppose you play golf”, says the salesman. “I’d like to invite you to be a guest at my club.”
“No, thanks,” the manager says. “I played golf once, but I didn’t like it.”
Just then a young man enters the office. “Let me introduce my son, Bill,” says the plant manager.
“Let me guess,” the salesman replies. “An only child?”
A census taker in a rural area went up to a farmhouse and knocked. When a woman came to the door, he asked her how many children she had and their ages.
She said: “Les’ see now, there’s the twins, Sally and Billy, they’re thirty-two. And the twins, Seth and Beth, they’re twenty-six. And the twins, Penny and Jenny, they’re twenty-four”.
“Hold on!” said the census taker. “Did you get twins every time?”
The woman answered: “Heck no, there were hundreds of times we didn’t get nothin'”.
At dinner, a lady turns to the woman next to her and says: “My, that’s a beautiful diamond you’re wearing. In fact, I think it’s the most beautiful diamond I have ever seen!”
“Thank you,” replies Judy. “This is the Plotnick Diamond.”
“The Plotnick Diamond? Is there a story to it?”
“Oh yes, the diamond comes with a curse.”
“A curse?” asks the lady. “What curse?”
“Mr Plotnick.”