A preacher, newly called to a small country town, needed to mail a letter. Passing a young boy on the street, the pastor asked where he could find the post office.
After getting his answer, he thanked the boy and said: “If you’ll come to the community church this evening, you can hear me tell everyone how to get to heaven.”
“I don’t know, sir,” the boy replied. “You don’t even know how to get to the post office!”
There was once a man who lived in a poor country. He went to law school and became a very intelligent person. Years later, he decided to go back to his country to show them how worthy he was.
He started his own office and, on the first day, he saw a man walking into his office. In an attempt to seem busy, he quickly picked up the phone and gestured for the man to come in while he pretended he was talking to a very important person.
After he put down the phone several minutes later, he apologised to the man and said: “Sorry to keep you waiting. As you can see, I’m a very busy man. What can I do for you?”
The man smiled and said: “I’m from the telephone company. I’m here to hook up your phone.”
It is the Christmas season and the judge is in a benevolent mood. He asks the accused man: “Well, Mr Jones, what crime were you accused of committing this time of the year?”
“Doing my Christmas shopping early, your honour,” replies Mr Jones humbly.
“That’s no crime,” comments the judge. “What time did you do your early Christmas shopping?”
“Well, just before the store opened sir.”