Jack woke up with a huge hangover after attending his company’s Christmas party. He wasn’t usually a big drinker, but the drinks didn’t taste like alcohol at all. He didn’t even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he had done something wrong.
Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he saw was a couple of painkillers next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them was a single red rose! Jack sat up and saw his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looked around the room and saw that it was in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So was the rest of the house.
He took the painkillers and cringed when he saw a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he noticed a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick: “Honey, breakfast is on the stove. I left early to get groceries to make your favourite dinner tonight. I love you, darling! Love, Jillian.”
He stumbled into the kitchen and sure enough, there was a hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee, and the morning newspaper all waiting for him. His son was also at the table, eating. Jack asked, “Son, what happened last night?”
“Well, you came home after three in the morning, drunk and out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door.”
Confused, he asked his son, “So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean? I have a rose and breakfast on the table waiting for me?”
His son replied, “Oh that! Well, Mum dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, ‘Leave me alone, I’m married!'”