An elderly man calls his son who lives in the big city and says: “I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing, forty-five years of misery is enough”.
“Pop, what are you talking about?” the son yells.
“We can’t stand the sight of each other any longer,” the old man says. “We’re sick of each other, and I’m sick of talking about this, so you call your sister and tell her.”
Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. “Like heck they’re getting divorced,” she shouts. “I’ll take care of this.”
She calls her parents immediately, and says to her father: “You are not getting divorced. Don’t do a single thing until I get there. I’m calling my brother back, and we’ll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don’t do a thing, do you hear me?!”
The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. “Okay,” he says. “They’re coming for our anniversary and paying their own fares. Now what do we tell them for your birthday?”
A boss was testing his new employees. He said: “We are very keen on cleanliness. Did you wipe your feet on the mat as you came in?”
The new employee answered: “Yes, sir”.
“We are also keen on truthfulness,” the boss said. “There is no mat”.
There once was a man who was so proud of the fact that he had six kids that he insisted on calling his wife “mother-of-six”. His wife hated this name and asked him repeatedly not to call her that, but he was a stubborn man and was very proud that he had six kids.
One evening they were at a dinner party for his company and it was getting close to the time that they should be leaving. The husband yelled from across the room over to his wife: “Mother of six, are you ready to go?”
Annoyed with his question, she responded: “In a minute, father of four”.