When he got home, a husband found his wife at the door, in tears.

She sobbed, “It’s the chemist! He was so rude to me on the phone this morning. I had to call several times before he even picked up!”

Without hesitation, the husband drove straight down to the chemist to demand an apology. But before he could get a word in, the chemist interjected, “Hang on, mate—hear me out.”

“This morning, my alarm didn’t go off, so I woke up late. Skipped breakfast, rushed out, and realised I’d locked myself out of the house with both the house and car keys inside, so I had to smash a window to get back in.

“Then, running late, I got pulled over for speeding. Just three streets away from the shop, I got a flat tyre.

“When I finally arrived, there was a line of customers waiting outside. I opened up and got to work, but the bloody phone just wouldn’t stop ringing.

“Next, I broke open a bag of coins against the cash drawer to make change, and they spilled everywhere. So, I’m on my hands and knees picking them up, and the phone’s still going!

“Then, when I stood up, I smacked my head on the cash drawer, stumbled back, and knocked over a shelf of expensive perfumes—half of them smashed.

“Meanwhile, that phone just kept ringing, so I finally picked up.

“It was your wife. She wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer.

“And, mate, I swear on my life, all I did was tell her.”