A man walks into a store and sees a Thermos flask. The clerk walks up to him and asks: “May I help you with anything?”
“Yeah! What is that?”
“Why that’s a thermos!”
“What’s it do?”
“It keeps things hot and it keeps things cold!”
“I’ll take it!”
The next day the man goes to work carrying this Thermos. His co-workers ask him: “What’s that!”
“It’s a Thermos.”
“What’s it do?”
“It keeps things hot and it keeps things cold!”
“So whatcha got in it?”
“Two popsicles and a cup of coffee.”
The train was about to pull out of the station. A young man ran towards it and managed to throw his bag in and climb aboard just in time.
A fellow passenger looked at him and said: “Young man, you should be in better shape! At your age, I could catch the train by a gnat’s whisker and still be fresh. Look at you, panting away.”
The young man took a deep breath and said: “I missed this train at the last station.”
A woman saw an electrician walking up her driveway and rushed to the door.
“Why did you come today?” she barked. “You were supposed to repair the doorbell yesterday?”
“I know,” the electrician replied. “I rang three times. There was no answer, so I thought you must be out.”