A customer was bothering the waiter in a restaurant. First, he asked that the air conditioning be turned up because he was too hot, then he angrily asked it be turned down cause he was too cold. This went on for about half an hour.
Surprisingly, the waiter was very patient, he walked back and forth and never once got angry. So, finally, a second customer asked him why he didn’t throw out the pest.
“Oh, I really don’t care or mind,” said the waiter with a smile. “We don’t even have an air conditioner.”
Two cows were chatting over the fence between their fields. The first cow said: “I tell you, this mad-cow-disease is really pretty scary. They say it is spreading fast. I heard it hit some cows down on the Johnson Farm.”
Unbothered, the other cow replies: “I’m not worried, it doesn’t affect us ducks.”
An American tourist capsized his boat while fishing just off the Australian coast. He could swim but his fear of crocodiles kept him clinging to the overturned craft. Spotting an old beach goer standing on the shore, the tourist shouted: “Are there any crocs around here?!”
“No,” the man hollered back. “They haven’t been around for years!”
Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the shore. About halfway there he asked the guy, “How’d you get rid of them?”
“We didn’t do anything,” the beach goer said. “The sharks got them.”