A few years ago, women puffed our way to equality in lung cancer prevalence. More recently, we elbowed in on another bastion of the blokes – heart disease.

But this latest stat has me gobsmacked.

Sunday 15 June is the United Nations’ designated World Elder Abuse Awareness Day. I’ve just finished poring over the latest annual report from Queensland’s Elder Abuse Prevention Unit (EAPU).  For the first time since the Elder Abuse Helpline was established in 1999, women aged between 50 and 54 share the honour at the top of the ‘Nastyometer’ with men of a similar age as the most abusive towards older Queenslanders.

And these aren’t strangers. About 70% of elder abuse cases involve a parent and their adult child. Women aged 80 to 84 are the most vulnerable. Usually sons are the guilty parties but that cohort of 50 to 54 year old women is almost exclusively daughters abusing their mothers.

Who are these people?

EAPU’s Ceallaigh Spike filled me in: “There’s the angry down and out ‘child’ who moves back in; the emotionally messy one who never left; opportunists who pounce on Mum’s or Dad’s assets at the first sign of fragility and the lazy one who moves in for the carer’s pension and doesn’t fulfil the other end of the bargain – the caring. Then there are those who are truly well-meaning but manage to trample their parents’ rights due to a lack of knowledge. Sometimes we need to remember that our ageing parents have been adults for a very long time. If they don’t have impaired capacity, then they can make decisions for themselves whether we agree with them or not. And they’re allowed to make mistakes, just like we are.

“And there are a few worn-out carers (I learnt that most abuse perpetrators don’t take on the caring role) and sometimes long-term spousal abuse comes to light.”

When I first heard the term ‘elder abuse’ years ago, I thought of neglect, physical abuse and social isolation.

In reality, mind games and financial abuse are the biggest offences.

Psychological abuse accounts for 38% of the Elder Abuse Hotline cases. It’s not a one-off put-down or a family blue. Psychological abuse is akin to bullying. It’s long-term and persistent, often involving threats.

About 33% of Elder Abuse Hotline cases relate to money. Financial abuse comes in many guises. It’s abuse when a parent, helping a child or grandchild financially, is coerced or blackmailed, forced to shell out when not in a position to. Or when money is never repaid because “it’ll be mine one day anyway”.

Sometimes cases of elder abuse may not be black and white. These actual cases as reported to EAPU bear thinking about:

• Buying a car with Dad’s money because you’re driving him around more but choosing a 4WD he can’t even climb into.
• Constantly badgering Mum about her choices (for example, food she should – and shouldn’t – eat).
• Making decisions on behalf of ageing parents without consulting them.
• Moving into the family home and not paying any of the bills.
• Talking parents into a risky investment when you can ride out a dip but they don’t have the years ahead to wait out a market come-back.

These figures are Queensland based. I’m assured – although the news is hardly reassuring – that similar stats are found across Australia.

Let’s take a look at some stats on elder abuse…

• The Elder Abuse Hotline recorded 1070 abuse cases in 2012–13.
• 897 cases were victimised by family or friends, people they trusted and knew well.
•  71% of victims were women.
• Incidence increases with age. The most reported age group was women aged 80–84.
• 61 per cent of cases occurred in south-east Queensland.
• 48% of cases recorded more than one form of abuse (e.g. psychological and financial).
• Only 1 in 4 cases of financial abuse involved misuse by an Enduring Power of Attorney.

It’s so easy to find yourself in the path of elder abuse. Have you ever been the victim of elder abuse? Could your well-meaning actions be a step over the mark?

Queensland’s Elder Abuse Helpline is run by Unitingcare Community: 1300 651 192.

Contacts for similar services in other states:

ACT  Abuse Prevention Referral and Information Line (APRIL)  02 6205 3535

NSW Elder Abuse Helpline 1800 628 221

VIC      Seniors Rights 1300 368 821

SA       Aged Rights Advocacy Service 1800 700 600

WA       Advocare 08 9479 7566

TAS     Elder Abuse Helpline 1800 44 11 69