12 of the greatest Absolutely Fabulous quotes
Patsy: “What will you drink if you stop drinking?”
Eddy: “I shall drink water.”
Patsy: (Blank look)
Eddy: “It’s a mixer, Patsy, we have it with whisky.”
Patsy: “Darling, if you want to talk bollocks and discover the meaning of life, you’re better off downing a bottle of whisky. At least that way, you’re unconscious by the time you start to take yourself seriously.”
Patsy: “The last mosquito that bit me had to check into the Betty Ford clinic.”
Patsy: “Ey, Eddy, Eddy, remember that weekend with Mick and the boys? (laughs) Fantastic!”
Eddy: “Fabulous days, darling.” (To Saffy) “Patsy used to go out with Keith Moon, sweetie.”
Patsy: “Yeah, sort of. I mean, I woke up underneath him in a hotel bedroom once.”
Eddy:“Yeah, still … That was going steady for the ’60s, believe me.”
Eddy: “Right, time for another little drinky before we go.”
Saffy: “Where are you going?”
Eddy: “New York.”
Saffy: “I didn’t think they let people with drug convictions in.”
Edina: “Darling, it’s not a conviction.”
Patsy: “Just a firm belief!”
Eddy: “I haven’t got any real hormones left, darling. I’m just held together with gels, pills and suppositories.”
Eddy: “All my clothes have stretch marks, darling.”
Eddy: “In this body there is a thin person dying to get out.”
Gran: “Just the one, dear?”
Patsy: ‘She was so anally retentive she couldn’t sit down for fear of sucking up the furniture.’
Eddy (to Saffy): “Why does everything you wear look like it’s bearing a grudge? You’ve got a wardrobe full of little murderers.”
Eddy (on fitness): “Couple of weeks, I’ll be bendy like Madonna, darling. Then I’ll be able to kiss my own arse from both directions.”
Saffy (about Eddy’s clothes she is throwing out): “I could take these down to the charity shop.”
Eddy (spluttering): “You cannot give these sort of clothes to the poor! Darling, I’m sure they’ve got enough to contend with without the added humiliation of wearing last season’s, sweetie!”