There’s something about a well-timed joke that never gets old — especially when it involves genies, wishful thinking and the occasional risky question about marriage.
From a man bargaining with the Lord on a Victorian beach to a wish that doesn’t quite go to plan, these jokes are all about the unexpected twist at the end. The kind that sneaks up on you… and delivers a proper laugh.
Number 1: A man walking along a Victorian beach was deep in prayer. Suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said, “Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.”
The man said, “Build a bridge to Tasmania so I can drive over anytime I want.”The Lord said, “Your request is very materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Bass Strait! The concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that would honor and glorify me.”
The man thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, “Lord, I wish that I could understand my wife. I want to know how she feels inside, what she’s thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says ‘nothing’s wrong,’ and how I can make a woman truly happy.”
The Lord replied, “You want two lanes or four on that bridge?”
Number 2: A Genie once granted me one wish, so I said “I just want to be happy”. So now I’m living in a little cottage with 6 dwarfs, working in a mine and singing ’Whistle while you work…….’
Number 3: Barack Obama walks into a bar, but he is invisible. After attracting the bartender’s attention, the bartender says “Ok, I’ll bite. Why are you invisible?” Barack says “Well, I found a bottle on the beach and…then I rubbed it.” “And then…importantly…A genie came out.” “The genie said I could have…3 wishes.” For my first wish, I said “Let me say this, and this is profoundly important…I want Michelle to marry me…I love her,…and I think America will love her too.” That wish was granted. For my second wish, I said “Like all patriotic Americans, I am deeply patriotic…and I want to be President…of the United States…so I can serve my country.” That wish was granted too. And then, for my third wish, I started by saying “Let me be clear…”