There’s a real art to a great one-liner – the setup is almost nothing, the punchline lands out of nowhere, and before you know it you’re laughing at something you probably shouldn’t be. These ones range from wonderfully absurd to quietly brilliant. Consider yourself warned about the last one.

A sewage farm. In what way is it a farm? Is there a farm shop?

I sent a food parcel to my first wife. FedEx.

I used to live hand to mouth. Do you know what changed my life? Cutlery.

Don’t knock threesomes. Having a threesome is like hiring an intern to do all the jobs you hate.

I can’t even be bothered to be apathetic these days.

I thought the word ‘Caesarean’ began with the letter ‘S’ but when I looked in the dictionary, it was in the ‘C’ section.

My therapist told me, ‘A problem shared, is a hundred quid’.

Me and my ex were into role play. I’d pretend to be James Bond and she’s pretend she still loved me.

The roman emperor’s wife hates playing hide and seek because wherever she goes Julius Caesar.