There is a particular kind of humour that only children can pull off – completely unintentional, utterly logical from their perspective, and so perfectly timed it leaves you doubled over. Whether they’re outsmarting a nun with chocolate chip cookie theology, offering emotional support with a catch, or delivering brutal feedback on your handwriting, kids have a gift for saying exactly what they think. Here are five of our favourites this week.

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: ‘Take only ONE . God is watching.’
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, ‘Take all you want. God is watching the apples’.

I told my daughter to put socks on her baby doll. She responded, “You can’t tell people how to take care of their kids.”

My six-year-old daughter, to her crying brother: “It’s okay to be sad. Sometimes we need to let our feelings out.”
Me: “Oh darling, that’s so lovely. Well done. Why is he crying?”
My daughter: “I hit him.”

I told my 5-year-old that he could have some popcorn if he promised to listen to me more. His response was, “What did you say?” So we’re off to a great start.

I was writing in my journal at the kitchen table while my grandson, age 10, sat beside me eating his cereal. Eli watched my cursive carefully for several minutes, then said, “You should learn how to print. Nobody’s ever going to be able to read that.”